My heart

When I was little, I was told I was a ray of sunshine. My mom used to sing you are my sunshine to me every single night. My heart was golden honestly I can’t even lie. But after years of heartache and trauma it has a hard shell over it. Every now and then I will meet someone who starts to slowly peel the shell off, revealing that sunshine that I once was. And then they hurt me and the shell stacks over my heart. I have tried, so hard and so many times, to soften it and to be kind but all that comes out of my mouth are harsh words. Maybe it’s the anxiety? Trauma? ADHD? OCD? who the hell knows. All I know is, it’s in there somewhere and I am determined to peel the shell back on my own and not rely on others to do it for me.

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